I'm doing this for me!

... that was the title of user, Soukicavill's, post on SparkPeople.  I read it in my daily email sent to me from SP.  I found it to be very honest and inspiring.  It hit home, solid.  I will post it at the end.

So I killed it at the gym yesterday, 1.5 hour workout (Tabata, Zumba, Treadmill, Elliptical) combo.  It felt awesome, but towards the end I was feeling sore already.

Today I got out of work late and ended up doing 30 on treadmill and 30 on elliptical.  A solid hour, good stuff.

Needless to say I am stillll confused as to how many calories I should consume.  Three valid sources/websites all say different things and they're each off by a good 200 calories.  Now what the heck is all thattt nonsense about?! Ugh.  I'm gonna stick with 1500 - 1600.

I ended up eating around 1550 cals today, not bad for a killer workout.  Best part of this is that I'm sore, yes, but I can literally feel myself getting stronger.  I miss the rush and all the blessed endorphins after my workouts. hahaa

Also, agreed to go to a Heated Vinyasa Flow class with some friends... oh boy.  That's gonna be a damnnnnn mess, but I'm excited for the 'after class feeling'.  Praying I can get in another good workout tomorrow and that I maintain the strength to stay on track.

Here's that post I said I'd paste, mind you this post speaks to me and says so much about how I personally feel! Amen sistaaaa! :-D

I've Decided I'm Doing This for Me

I'm doing this for me. Not for those who called me too fat to be pretty.
Not for the snooty vendors who look down on me when I try on dresses.
Not for those who say "Too bad, she has a pretty face".
Not to make my parents happy.
Not to fit in to a stereotypical idea of beauty.

I'm doing this to get healthy.
To show myself that I can.
To be a strong woman: I can be athletic. I can be beautiful.
I want to feel good in my own skin.
I want to find MYSELF beautiful.
I want to look in my mirror and smile.

I don't want to think "What if I felt good in my skin ..." anymore.
I don't want to look at a beautiful dress and think "Too bad..."
I don't want to think of myself in disgust. My body and I deserve better than that.
I don't want to mistreat my body. It's not my own little garbage can.
I don't want to devalue my health.
I do not want to binge and purge, binge and purge.
I do not want to punish myself anymore.

I'm going to do this, slowly but surely.

And it has made all the difference.