Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Panic Mode?

So I was talking to fellow blogger, Sarah, about health and wellness type things (she's super knowledgeable about these type of things, love her! haha).  So I was explaining my frustration to her about how I haven't lost any weight this week...

Long story short: I weighed 256.6 last Saturday morning, this past week I've been weighing in at around 259. I ate well during Easter, so what gives?

Needless to say, I've been working realllll hard at the gym and have seen no results.  Now I didn't get this size for no good reason.  I desire things quickly, I like the quick-fix for things.  With weightloss, the story is no different.  When I see I'm not losing, I freak out.  So she was talking to me about tips and tricks and reminded me that I really need to be measuring myself on three different levels: 1) Actual weight, 2) Body Fat%, and 3) measurements of the thighs, hips, waist and chest.   She then talked to me about resistance training.  I've been doing nothing but pure cardio, which is not good. I need to tone with weights or some form of resistance exercise.  Anywho, she's a wealth of knowledge and I'm glad to have her as a friend and resource!

Back to my panic mode story, so despite all the positive advice she gave me... I was still feeling crappy.  First off, I almost completely dismissed the gym today because I thought 'what's the use?'.  But I talked myself out of it and ended up on doing around 40 mins of cardio... :-/

Afterwards, I spoke with Jenna the training specialist at the gym and she gave me some pointers.  I will meet with her on Saturday morning to create a personalized workout plan and to review my eating choices, since I log them on  She's certified in a ton of things, so I trust her judgement.  She told me to hide my scale and that we'd weigh in this Saturday, so that will be my official weigh in date.  She'll weigh me 2 weeks after as well.  She also suggested that I eat some more calories or to eat a good amount of 'healthy' calories and then hit the gym tomorrow hard to trick my body.  So what did I do?  I went straighttttt to Chipotle and have consumed 2274 calories today.  I think I was waiting for her to say that and BAM I was at Chipotle quicker than you could say 'quick'.  heh.

So I feel shitty for having eaten so much, but I know that this ends tonight and that tomorrow I'm hitting it hard again.  My scale is going to be hidden under my bed and I will meet with Jenna on Saturday.

Okay, had to let that out... because I feel so guilty.  Okay, I'm done.


Tuesday, April 26, 2011

I love Skype

Just got off a skype session with my momma... and it was like she was right there with me.

We both discussed some very personal things and it was nice to connect with her the way we did.  I love that woman to death, man oh man.

Anywho, we're both in the same boat of wanting to lose weight to 'feel attractive'.  I know that's not the 'right' reason to want to lose weight, but it's honest.  I had some idea she felt that way, but not to the extent that it actually is.  We're both very insecure about many things and it's nice to know I'm not alone.  I technically know I'm not, but there's something about the relationship that my mom and I have that made me feel better when I told her all of this and vice versa.

It's a work in progress.  I'm a rosebud righ' now... waiting to become this fabulous like yellow-orange-kinda red rose.  haha only I would imagine the type of 'rose' I'm going to become, as if this metaphor were legit. Ayyy Tina...

It'd look like this, for the record:

Okay i'll stop :-/ ...

haha, anyways as for the gym:

Treadmill (20m)
Rower (6m) - it's so darn painful, so I increased today by 1 min, from yesterday. ahh shoooot! :-D
Elliptical (25m)
Crunches (60)

Calories: 1660

I still need to iron pants for work tomorrow.  G'night!

Monday, April 25, 2011

Another week is amongst us...

First off,

Hope everyone had a great Easter weekend!  I went to my bestfriend's family's house in the middle of nowhere, NH.  It was a great time and I ate very well! I am quiteee proud of myself.  I'm feeling better everyday and I can tell that it's sticking with me this time, yes it IS!

It was a nice time and I'm glad I got to spend it with my NE familia. :)

So here we go with another week...

It's about a month away from the wedding and I have GOT to fit into a size 16 with my scuba suit (Spanx) on!  To help with this, I've been looking into heart rate monitors/calorie trackers.  Two devices I'm looking at in particular are:


Let the battle begin!

Anywho, I'm still in undecided.  Any input would be much appreciated!

For today,

Zumba (40 mins)
Treadmill (15 mins)
Rower (5 mins)
Elliptical (25 mins)

Almost 1.5 hours, not too shabby.

Calories consumed: 1595

I'm gonna pass out... mmmm my bed sounds delish! :-D

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

I shouldn't weight myself everyday...

It's a bad habit, I know! And when I see I haven't lost anything or gained, I get discouraged.  Flat out, I should weigh myself once a week.  heh... Tomorrow morning (Thursday mornings) will be my weigh in days.  Odd day, but yeah... we'll go with it.

Next week I hope to officially start the Augustina "Twice-A-Day" routine.  That's when I work out for about 30-45 mins in the morning and 45mins - 1.5 hours in the evening? A bit aggressive? yes!  BUT, I need to be a size 16 by May 26th or at least a loose fitting 18. haha... I'm an 18 on a GOOD day, but right now I'm generally a 20.  Hey, I used to be a 26, so let's just keep that in perspective! lol

I did:
-34mins on treadmills
-33mins on elliptical
-crazy stretching

I need to:
-foam roll... It's so painful tho! :(

I ate 1585 calories today, tracked via, here!
I still wonder if that's too low... ugh.  I don't even know anymore... :-/

Gonna be fab, gonna be fab soon...

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

I'm doing this for me!

... that was the title of user, Soukicavill's, post on SparkPeople.  I read it in my daily email sent to me from SP.  I found it to be very honest and inspiring.  It hit home, solid.  I will post it at the end.

So I killed it at the gym yesterday, 1.5 hour workout (Tabata, Zumba, Treadmill, Elliptical) combo.  It felt awesome, but towards the end I was feeling sore already.

Today I got out of work late and ended up doing 30 on treadmill and 30 on elliptical.  A solid hour, good stuff.

Needless to say I am stillll confused as to how many calories I should consume.  Three valid sources/websites all say different things and they're each off by a good 200 calories.  Now what the heck is all thattt nonsense about?! Ugh.  I'm gonna stick with 1500 - 1600.

I ended up eating around 1550 cals today, not bad for a killer workout.  Best part of this is that I'm sore, yes, but I can literally feel myself getting stronger.  I miss the rush and all the blessed endorphins after my workouts. hahaa

Also, agreed to go to a Heated Vinyasa Flow class with some friends... oh boy.  That's gonna be a damnnnnn mess, but I'm excited for the 'after class feeling'.  Praying I can get in another good workout tomorrow and that I maintain the strength to stay on track.

Here's that post I said I'd paste, mind you this post speaks to me and says so much about how I personally feel! Amen sistaaaa! :-D

I've Decided I'm Doing This for Me

I'm doing this for me. Not for those who called me too fat to be pretty.
Not for the snooty vendors who look down on me when I try on dresses.
Not for those who say "Too bad, she has a pretty face".
Not to make my parents happy.
Not to fit in to a stereotypical idea of beauty.

I'm doing this to get healthy.
To show myself that I can.
To be a strong woman: I can be athletic. I can be beautiful.
I want to feel good in my own skin.
I want to find MYSELF beautiful.
I want to look in my mirror and smile.

I don't want to think "What if I felt good in my skin ..." anymore.
I don't want to look at a beautiful dress and think "Too bad..."
I don't want to think of myself in disgust. My body and I deserve better than that.
I don't want to mistreat my body. It's not my own little garbage can.
I don't want to devalue my health.
I do not want to binge and purge, binge and purge.
I do not want to punish myself anymore.

I'm going to do this, slowly but surely.

And it has made all the difference.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Day 3 of braces & back at the gym...

The day started off right, because I got 8 hours of sleep!:)  My teeth are still sore, but I think they're getting better?  Anywho 8 hours is a rarity, so my body was pumped UP!

I was in training at work all day today, and somehow managed to make excellent eating decisions despite the fact that I had a free meal voucher for the cafe at work.  Small cup of chicken noodle soup & a half a sandwich... took the cheese out!

Sooo... After work/training I went to the eye doctor to see about getting another year supply of contacts.  That appt ended just before Zumba started at the gym.  I wasn't initially going to go, but ended up going to a 40 min zumba class, followed by 15 mins on the treadmill and 30 mins on the elliptical.  Gooood stuff, ladies and gents!

I'll have to hit up the gym tomorrow morning or after I get home... :-/  I'm heading to Jamaica Plain w/ some sisters to see another sister perform in RENT.  Super excited, should be some good stuff...

This weekend is looking good.  I am determined to stay strong, esp because I KNOW the hell I go through at the gym.  Lord knows I can't afford to be counterproductive.

It's almost Fridayyyy, ummm hollllla! :-D

P.S. Happy bday to Aubree Deane.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Braces!!... AHHHH!

First off... let's get this outta the way.  I know I look like Ugly Betty....

 I know, I know. :( lol  Anywho, It'll make Halloween easy, no? Gotta think about things on the bright side!

So I will admit that it has effected my workout and eating habits.  I haven't been able to eat many 'hard' foods and I've been in so much pain that I want to do nothing but go home and sleep.  Random headaches have come with it... and now flossing is an honest TASK.  For the pain and the money, I'm not sure it was worth it.  I mean my smile wasn't horrible to begin with... I've just always been self-conscious about my bottom row of teeth.  heh.  I just figured I'd invest in myself... but man this is painful. haha.  Alas, my point is that I cannot let my diet regimen be effected like it has been.  Tomorrow I'm counting calories and hitting the gym again.  I'm forcingggg myself to! I won't excuse this little mishap, but I won't beat myself over it either.

Gotta get back up and keep a steppin'!  I'll let you know of my workout and eating successes tomorrow!


Monday, April 11, 2011

Monday Madness!!

Today was pretty busy at work, but I managed to track my food online.  Which brings me to a new task, I must find a nutritionist.  When I was back in Tucson, I was seeing a lady who told me to eat 1700-1800 calories/day.  Now I think that's a little high, however, I do weigh a lot and may need more calories for sustenance.  I definitely don't want my body to go into starvation mode, but in that same sense I don't want to be sabotaging my weightloss becausee I'm eating too many calories.

Anyone know of a good calculator so I can figure this out??

So I ended up eating around 1850.  I went a little higher than I should've because of my workout at the gym.

I showed up to the gym a little early for Zumba class and ended up in 'another' class... called Tabata.  Now apparently Tabata is an exercise form that focuses on getting the heart rate up and then resting, almost like interval training.  We would do intense moves for 20 seconds, then rest for 10s.  This went on for a little over 10 mins.  Needless to say, I was sweating my behind off.  I'm not used to intense stuff like that, at least not yet.

Then I did Zumba for 45 mins.  After that I did the treadmill for 17 mins and the elliptical for 20.  Then I stretched and had a delicious meal supplement shake!   It was an intense day, so I upped the calorie count... but I still feel guilty.  So no matter what, I will not go over my 1800 tomorrow, I'm promising myself that!

Alright, I'm beat and I go to get my braces put on tomorrow. I'm nervous... I've been waiting for this moment for a long time.  My bottom teeth are super crooked... heh. Man, I hope it doesn't turn into a bad scene.... 24 with braces, oh boy! My sexual attraction just keeps growing... son of a.  I'll post an oh-so-attractive photo of myself tomorrow.

Goodnight kids!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

A good weekend...

until tonight. I cheated a little, but the entire weekend was good other than that!

I've set three goals for myself this week:
  • Go to the gym in the morning 3x this week
  • Go to the gym after work 5x this week (M - F)
  • Log alllllll food intake on

I forgot how beneficial food journaling was until I started counting my calories this past weekend.  Man oh man! ... I also spoke with a personal trainer and he reminded me that 80% of weightloss is diet.  Yes, exercise is crucial, but the devil is in the diet.  Than being said, food journaling here we go!

Let's get this did!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

I'm convinced that Day 3 is magical...

perhaps just like the number 3?

I think it takes the 3rd day of doing well for things to begin sinking in.  One day is not enough and day two is "okay, I'm keeping with it".  Day three, however, is a little magical.  For me it is at least.  I'll explain...

So I today was Day 2 at the gym at my work and I was going to do the regular 15 min rotation of bike/treadmill/elliptical, but a friend at work convinced me to take the Zumba Tone class.  This class is Zumba, but with weights. I was like "Ahhh sheeeeet! Idk about all thattt!", especially since weights were incorporated - it scared me a little.  It was taking me out of my comfort zone... but guess what? I took the class and I lovedddd it! I mean, the 40 mins class flewww by!  I've taken Zumba before, but not a class with weights.  I felt excellent after it!

And check this out, after the class I cooled off and then did 15 mins on the treadmill and then 20 on the elliptical!... "Say whattt, Tina?!" Yesss, yesss! The Zumba had my energy up and the endorphins going so I hit up the machines.

After my workout I had a delicious, and I do mean deliciosoooo, meal supplement.  My vanilla secure meal replacement (70 calories only!).  You can find it here.  It's the best tasting stuff and I know what tastes good.  Trust me! I didn't get this way for no reason.  Hey wait a minute, I should be getting paid for advertising this ish! haha... son of a...

So back to my story! When I came home to eat dinner, I had a little extra nutella on my spoon and after I ate it, I felt guilty! The guilt is a sure sign that this is starting to work again.  The regret from overindulging is far worse of a consequence to make me not want to indulge.  Point beingggg... I'm feeling like I'm getting back on track! I'm scared to post all of this, in the case that I fail.  But this is why I'm posting, so it makes me NOT fail.  Can I get an amen?! Crowd: "Amen!"

It's almost Friday! YEAAAA!!

I'm going to make good choices this weekend, because the regret is too painful.  Have a great Friday, kidz! :))

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Switching it up at the gym...

So today went well... I am proud of myself for controlling my urges. :)

But in terms of "switching it up", I have.  I used to do 20 mins of the treadmill and 20 on the elliptical.  Adding the recumbent bike to the mix has definitely mixed it up quite a bit.  So much so that my legs are jello and my arse is madddd sore. :-/  Must fit into dress for the wedding!

I think I'm going to chant this at the gym ... or create a 15 second recording that I will place between songs on my ipod.  That should do the trick, no? hahaha...

It was nice to catch up with my sister-mom aka my big from my sorority.  We had a nice healthy dinna and chatted about life, good stuff... and didn't overindulge.  Can I get a what, whatttt?!


Tuesday, April 5, 2011


Once again, I have no excuses... none.  I don't blog when I cheat, in case you haven't noticed. :-/  I'm hoping the twins and whoever sees me often/follows me on twitter will drop a line in the event this happens again.  Sooo now that the family frenzy is over :( it's time to get to bidnesssss!

I ate well today and worked out for 45 mins.  My friend has instructed me to do 15 on the bike, 15 on the eliptical and 15 on the treadmill in that order.  So, I am doing just that.  Anything else you're doing that's helping the weight fly off?  I want to know.

I'm also taking Ruby Reds and ProCaps Vanilla as supplements, which he also suggested.  I'm a fan of both products, actually.  Any other supplements you know of that I should know of as well?

I know you all missed me... but real talk, this yo-yo dieting has got to stop! It's super bad, I know... I just need to be committed.  I need to want it that badly.  And in light of my friend's wedding, I cannot showing up heavier than when I left Arizona for a new job in Mass. I will NOT allow this!

I hate to say this why I'm motivated, but at least it's a reason to keep me honest, right?  I want this to be my last REAL relapse post.  I'm sick of writing about my failures.  I just want to succeed and make myself proud.

That's real talk.  Thanks for reading, friends.