Tuesday, October 18, 2011


I am taking an insurance exam on Thursday, right before my big trip to the Caribbean and I've been studying like mad.  Dear, God, I hope I pass...

Either way, that's my reason for not posting.  Not a good excuse, but that's what's been up.  I will hopefully post about a very interesting occurance this past weekend either tonight or tomorrow night as my 'study break' hahaaaa

Thanks for staying tuned.

Much love, y'all. :)

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Food Journal

Day 1:

Breakfast @ 9:30am
1 cup of Cap’n Crunch cereal
1 cup of 1% milk
1 banana

Feelings: Hungryyyy cuz it was the morning and I’m generally famished

Lunch @ 11:50am :-/
Smart Ones: Shrimp Marinara
½ c of cottage cheese
Pringles Baked Wheat Stix (honey butter flavor)
Fiber Plus 90 calorie brownie

Feelings: I am legit HUNGRAYYY! I didn’t have my morning coffee, which suppresses my appetite.  Oyyy

Afternoon snack @ 2:45
Trader Joe’s Fiberful dried fruit bar
Fiber One 80 cal honey squares (10g of fibaaaa)

Feelings: I had actual hunger pains while in my 1-3pm meeting… thankfully it let out early b/c I raided my lunchbox after.

Dinner @ 7pm
Carnitas burrito bowl from Chipotle w/ guac

Feelings: Super hungry!

Dessert @ 8pm
Trader Joe's mini cone (70 cals)... 2 of 'em :-/

Feelings: not really hungry... but wanted something 'sweet'

Establishing Some Healthy Habits: Day One
Follow through... I did my food journal finally and will continue.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Double Time!

So I’m not going to lie, the journaling for yesterday went South when I forgot to journal the emotions piece of it, so I stopped.  I am starting anew today!  Not to mention, I felt superrr guilty after the Davidian Farm’s apple cider donut extravaganza went down. Oy!  No more, no moreeee… ! I feel like I indulge in stuff like that because it’s seasonal.  Let’s be honest, I need to stop indulging like it’s the last time I’ll ever eat ‘that’ certain food again.  It’s just not okay.  But FALL is DEFinitely my all-time fav!

I am proud of my commitment to my exercise yesterday though.  I am still a member at my work gym until the end of October and will be renewing my membership at the Y at the end of October.  Anywho, I decided to go to the Zumba Tone class from 5:15-6pm.  Now this instructor is awesome, she is super high energy and friendl!  Here’s the thing: Zumba Tone incorporates weights throughout the duration class and Elizabeth is just reallll hyper.  It goes without saying; I was beat by the end of her class.  I was conflicted as to whether or not I should go to the 6:30-7:30 class at the Y.  I ended up talking myself into it because I imagined I was pushing myself like they do on the Biggest Loser.  I told myself that if they could do 8 hr workouts a day, that I could do this!

I walked into the class and started the warmup fine, but this instructor was even higher energy than Elizabeth.  I wanted to cry! Lol  I can’t even tell you how many times I wanted to grab my waterbottle and keys and head out.  It was the most pain I’ve been in a long timeee.  I was downright exhausted after the class and definitely was not as ‘good’ in the songs as I was in Elizabeth’s class.  I could tell I was slowing down.

Long story short, I did 1 hr and 45 mins of Zumbz yesterday and while it was painful… I can’t wait for Thursday! I’m such a Zumba Prophet, it’ll only be a matter of time until I work up the nerve to get my arse certified. J  But that’s a story  for another time…

Establishing Some Healthy Habits: Day One
Push yourself that extra mile.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Back to journaling

I have noticed that I am better at eating when I have to journal everything.  I mean everythingggg... even a damn m&m.  But this time, instead of just journaling my food choices, I'm going to journal my mood and emotions around the times I'm eating.  I will be writing all of this on a word doc and then uploading onto this site for public viewing.  I will commence the journaling tomorrow.  This is all in alliance with my friend Sarah's challenge: 21 days to establish some habits.  Her's reads 're-establish' and mine is straight out 'establish'.  I don't think I've stuck to something for 21 days since I first started losing weight in 2010... :-/.  Just bein' honest w/ myself, I guess...

I'm heading to Barbados for 5 days and this is DEF going to be a challenge, but I'm going to do my best at journaling my food.  Oyyy... vamos a ver..

I log my food on dailyplate (livestrong.com) and myfitnesspal.  I need to choose one!... ack

Ohh and I need to be more diligent about tracking my workout on fitocracy.com.  Baby steps.... let's just start the journaling first lol.  I suppose perhaps that can be step 2?

Site maintenance, updates & issues

I'm in the process of moving this site to WordPress, but there are current issues that are being sorted out with WP that are delaying the process/move.  I want this site to be more interactive where people can ask questions, going on their random rants, have input on the layout/design/topics/etc.  As of recent, a few individuals mentioned that they were having issues posting comments.  If you try to post a comment and are receiving an error, please email me at augustinamills@gmail.com!  I love hearing y'alls feedback and such and if the comment feat isn't working... then, well that's just counterproductive to what I'm trying to do here.

If you have any comments/suggestions/whatever, feel free to drop me a line at the email above.  I welcome and all feedback you have, I promise not to be offended. In fact, I'm grateful... I tots swear! :)

Monday, October 10, 2011

This weekend was all over the place...

It started off with a nice dinner out with my friend Yetti.  We spoke of love, life, weight loss, struggles, nonsense, etc. etc.  It was great sooo great seeing her, I always enjoy catching up.  It's nice, but not really 'nice' to know that I'm not the only person who has the crazy thoughts I have.  Love this girl.

Then I went to have a healthy, wholesome and delish bfast w/ Sarah.  It was a grand time.  She's such an inspiration and great influence to me.  I love spending time with her and also need to do that more often.  Looks like I gots some thangz to add to my 'to do' list. :)

Then on Saturday I went to my friend Alison Leflore's wedding.  There's a side story there, but I won't discuss here.  It was a rather emotional event for me for many reasons.  I've known this girl since freshman year and we'd been close ever since. It was just wonderful seeing that she found the love of her life.  I am so very happy for her and Kenny, her husband.  I was glad I was able to share that beautiful moment w/ the 2 of them.

So after the wedding I was feeling a little down and out b/c let's be honest, it'll be a long time until I get married, which I'm okay with.  It's the fact that I don't have anyone, I guess.  I know, I know... And the thing is, I'm going to be 25 in December and I still have no one to share fun weddings and stuff with.  I suppose it just makes me sad and wonder when my time will be.

So as I was in my self-loathing moment I decided to sign up for a free dating site... again.  Ridic, I know.  I'm not sure that's what I 'need' right now, but I want to start looking again.  But more importantly, last night I attempted to find and contact my ex-stepfather.  I haven't seen or spoken to him since I was 9 years old!  That's a WHOLE story in itself.  So as I'm googling him, I decided to go to LinkedIn to see if he was there.  I added someone whom I thought could be him, but was sure it wasn't.  Well today at 1:40pm I get a text saying "Hi Tina, looking for me? Me who? My name starts with an E"  I thought it was a bot who had responded to my request to find an Eddie on one of those classmates, genealogy, friend finder sites.  I thought, what the heck? and called the number that had texted me.  Wellllll... lo' and behold... it was Eddie! OMG! was my first instinct and it was super emotional. I started tearing up and omg it was just soooo many emotions all at once.  I ended up speaking to him today for about 4 hours... it was crazy and oh-so-magical! I asked if I could email him and he said yes and that he'd also like to have coffee sometime next time I was in AZ.  He even said he'd be cool flying to Mass to come visit me!! ... I was beyond overjoyed. :)  That was just a monumental moment in my life... and I'll never forget it as long as I live.

Then I skyped my bff Lauren to talk about our upcoming trip to Barbados and figure out logisitics.  We ended up talking about 'boys'... typical.  And then it finally hit me... I need to do something rather soon.  Everyone has been telling me, but it's finally hit me.  It IS time to make some adjustments and 'cuts' in my life.  I've spent my entire 24th year being conflicted about a certain someone and it is EFFING timeee... more updates to come.  It's going to be hard to 'cut', but I need to start living my life again and in many ways I have been holding out and putting my life on hold and consuming my thoughts in regards to a certain individual.

And food relates to this because if I'm happy, I eat and if I'm sad... I eat more.  Ohhh and at the wedding, I ate a ton.  Not good.  I'm still not at that stage where eating well is a natural instinct.  If I'm in day-to-day stuff, yes I'll eat well.  If it's a celebration like I wedding, I divulge b/c it's a celebration and such.  Not okay... tomorrow... back to the grind.

I'm just tired of messing up and restarting... it's ugh.

oHHH... and a special shoutout to my friend, Kate B... who looks fabulous! She's now in single digits in a size she's NEVER been before.  You go, girl! So proud of you!

Phew! That was one crazy@$$ post... hope you didn't get too lost! haha

Friday, October 7, 2011

Introducing: Song of the Week

I am all about musica.  I have been for the longest time.  I play trumpet & piano, fun fact and have been doing so for many years now.  Many people don't know, but I have been out of practice from the trumpet for about a year or so because I live in an apt bldg and I'm sure my neighbors wouldn't appreciate my playing. heh.  Ohh! And I also sing, every now and then ;)  If you're ever up to go karaoking, I'm down. Lemme know! lol

All this being said, I have to have my jammity jamz going while I'm working it out... it's a MUST.  I have I plethoraaaa of music and yet I still always find myself 'running out of music' or overplaying the same workout songs over and over.  So I've decided to start actively searching & sharing my new musical finds with y'all by posting a new workout each week.  Perhaps you might share a good song you've been listening to lately?

This week's song:

"You've Changed" - Sia

It reminds of a runway music and I <3 it.


Mmmm love this on the elliptical.. :-D

Share your fav workout song in a comment!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Makeup & Ramen Noodz

So I didn't got to the gym today and instead went over to my friend's place to do makeup and a photoshoot of 3 of my co-workers for an upcoming endeavor. Stay tuned! And yes,  I know I should've gone, but this was a necessary step in moving forward towards my career goals. (I know , no 'buts' allowed... heh.)  I will kill it tomorrow during Zumba, no worries!

So on my way back home from the shoot, I was very tempted to 'pick something up' for dinner and fought for the longestttt time! I'm a self-proclaimed fast food junkie, I'll say it time and time again. :-/  After thattt fight, I found myself back at my apt watching Anderson Cooper 360 and the late breaking news about Steve Jobs' death.  I thought I'd share my very favorite Steve Job speech of all time.  It's absolutely wonderful!  Find it here.

Sooo... my hunger was getting the best of me and all I really had to eat was Ramen Noodles.  So that's what I made.  I haven't had Ramen since I was on the mushy solids diet after my gallbladder surgery.  So I used less of the flavoring mix so the soup wasn't sooo high in sodium and then added my crushed red peppers to spice it up, as alwayssss! :-D  Now that meal was 380 calories, high in carbs, and low in nutrients, but it was the better of the choices I was going to make (ie: eating out).  That being said, I'm trying to focus on my 'win' for the night.

To end this night, I just want to pause for a moment and remember Mr. Steve Jobs as I type this on my MacBook.  He was truly ingenious in his ability as an innovator and a business man.  RIP Mr. Jobs.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Whuddup with that rank stench at the gym?!

Hahahaa so the past few days at the gym have been... interesante.  Yesterday I began working out on the elliptical machine and I started noticing an awful smell.  I began thinking it was the guy to my right, but soon he got off the machine and I kept smelling it.  Then I thought it was me... nope.  It was the guy huffing and puffing next to me.  It was his breath.  Honestly, I was in 'the zone', but the smell got me RIGHT OUT.  I had to switch machines and because there were not other ellipticals around, I decided to try anther machine.

This machine was a hybrid of an elliptical and a stairmaster.  All I have to say is that I still don't know how to properly use that machine, nor does anyone else I asked.  The up and down motions got me motion sick.  I have a very sensitive inner-ear equilibrium and my ear was having NONE of it!  I ended up leaving the gym after only 35 mins or so of working out. :-/

So fast forward to my zumba class today.  Now this class gets us sweating and I love thattt.  The room of around 20-25 women were all working up a sweat and whatnot.  And then all of a sudden out a nowhere this nasty smell arises.  Someone clearly farted.  I mean, I get it, we're jumping, squatting, lunging, twirling, salsa-ing, etc-ing.  But then the stench came again and again.  I'm pretty sure it was the girl next to me.  And as sad as this may sound, I was comforted to know that my nose was not the only one being ambushed.  A few other women gave a funny/polite but disgusted look.  At least I knew it wasn't just me! hahaa

I just had to blog about this, because of all things I'd have to get harassed by dirty smells 2 days in a row. 

Monday, October 3, 2011

PMSing & Confidence Issue No. 71598

I’m going to blog about this, but I’m doing this because this is my venting outlet as well as a judgment-free zone.  So at work I was asked to do a photo shoot for my company’s United Way campaign this year in early August.  First off, I was really excited because I have never done a photo shoot before and was super surprised because they asked ME.  Like why would someone ask me to do a photo shoot? There are tons of pretty and skinny people at work, but they asked ME.  So I was feelin real happy about that and myself! I even emailed the person who sent the Outlook invite out to my calendar to double-check that I was supposed to receive the invite.  How pathetic, right?  How sad is that…
So I went to the photo-shoot, had my makeup did and the photos turned out ‘alright’, but naturally I’m my own worst critic.  I obvz had my makeup and hair did and the photographer even complimented me.  Enough said.
So the United Way general volunteer team meeting is held today and the marketing materials are out for everyone to see.  So I’m looking around and my photo from the shoot is nowhere to be found.  So I initially was saddened, but thought that I might be in some of the campaign’s handout materials.  Well this year I volunteered to be on the Events committee for the campaign, but was also assigned as a Team Leader… which I hadn’t initially signed up for, but accepted the responsibility and thought it was a nice way to continue to give back.  So when I went to pick up my team leader bag and saw the materials that will be handed out to the employees, I was also not on the handouts.  That being said, my photos must have been nixed from the pool of marketing materials.
Now listen, I know there are starving and impoverished children in the world and wars going on throughout the world… stuff way more important than my pity party. I just can’t help but feel sad/depressed/ugly/fat after having my self-confidence slapped in the face.  Everyone that was invited to the campaign shoot had their photo in the marketing materials and for some reason, I was left out.  My own psychological deduction that I can make is that it’s because I’m Fat & Ugly.  I know I’m being ridiculous (at least I’m admitting it), but that’s the only conclusion I have arrived at.  I keep telling myself, maybe your photos accidentally got deleted or maybe they just missed you on accident or the files were corrupted. No, no, NO… it’s because no one wants a BIG person to be the face of a campaign, which is PRECISELY why I was initially shocked when I was asked to partake in the photo-shoot in the first place.  Maybe it really was an accident and then they realized after the photos were taken that they didn't intend to invite me. 
Just to end my self-conscious/PMSing/crazy thoughts battle, I think I’m more upset with myself than anything else.  Aside from the fact the seemingly trivial fact that my photos weren't considered, this ‘event’ just reaffirms so many bad thought and feelings I have about myself.  Let's chalk this up to YET another reason Why I want to lose weight! This whole sitations, for a lack of better words, was ‘the straw that broke the camel’s back’.  Make sense?
I won’t apologize for having this rant, but I do ask that you don’t judge (hahaa) and that you try to look at it from my crazy@$$ girl perspective.
Phew!... I feel a little better, but not really.. heh.

September SELF issue was SOLID

I'll admit I did my share of eating out this past weekend...:-/ and could've made healthier choices.  My friend's bachelorette party was in Boston and with that came drinking and other bad choices. heh.

I read some 'therapeutic' articles on September's issue of Self.  And of course, one of my ultimate favzzzz, Jennifer Hudson happened to be on the cover talking about her weight loss experience.  She too was happy at her size, a 16.  She mentioned that people treat her so differently now that's she's lost weight, "You never know you're never being discriminated against until you see what you've been deprived of."  - That right there speaks VOLUMES about our society.  And let's just tack that onto one of the other reason's Why I want to lose weight.  At either size she looks amazing, but now she says she 'feels' it and that' what really counts! So proud of another bigger girl who has the kind of confidence she had pre-weightloss.  Damnn..

And the other article I read wasn't weight loss related, but definitely Augustina-related.  It's titled: "It's not all about you!", you can read it here.  I find myself in those types of sitations where I'm so concerned about what other's think or why the girl that passed me down the hallway completely ignored me or why my manager seems to be so RUDE to 'just me' as of recent.  It helps put certain things into perspective in terms of controlling our emotions in situations we often are taking unnecessarily personal.   I personally, am trying to build a thicker skin in hopes that I can stop worrying about everyone's little actions and turning them into bigger issues than they are.  I can honestly get sooo bogged down and obsessed over something so small, that it prevent me from being my best Self.  I'll definitely be taking this article out of the mag and referencing it for those days that I can't help take things too personal. haha

...still undecided about my weightloss tracker... still open for opinions/discussion/etc. :)