It started off with a nice dinner out with my friend Yetti. We spoke of love, life, weight loss, struggles, nonsense, etc. etc. It was great sooo great seeing her, I always enjoy catching up. It's nice, but not really 'nice' to know that I'm not the only person who has the crazy thoughts I have. Love this girl.
Then I went to have a healthy, wholesome and delish bfast w/ Sarah. It was a grand time. She's such an inspiration and great influence to me. I love spending time with her and also need to do that more often. Looks like I gots some thangz to add to my 'to do' list. :)
So after the wedding I was feeling a little down and out b/c let's be honest, it'll be a long time until I get married, which I'm okay with. It's the fact that I don't have anyone, I guess. I know, I know... And the thing is, I'm going to be 25 in December and I still have no one to share fun weddings and stuff with. I suppose it just makes me sad and wonder when my time will be.
So as I was in my self-loathing moment I decided to sign up for a free dating site... again. Ridic, I know. I'm not sure that's what I 'need' right now, but I want to start looking again. But more importantly, last night I attempted to find and contact my ex-stepfather. I haven't seen or spoken to him since I was 9 years old! That's a WHOLE story in itself. So as I'm googling him, I decided to go to LinkedIn to see if he was there. I added someone whom I thought could be him, but was sure it wasn't. Well today at 1:40pm I get a text saying "Hi Tina, looking for me? Me who? My name starts with an E" I thought it was a bot who had responded to my request to find an Eddie on one of those classmates, genealogy, friend finder sites. I thought, what the heck? and called the number that had texted me. Wellllll... lo' and behold... it was Eddie! OMG! was my first instinct and it was super emotional. I started tearing up and omg it was just soooo many emotions all at once. I ended up speaking to him today for about 4 hours... it was crazy and oh-so-magical! I asked if I could email him and he said yes and that he'd also like to have coffee sometime next time I was in AZ. He even said he'd be cool flying to Mass to come visit me!! ... I was beyond overjoyed. :) That was just a monumental moment in my life... and I'll never forget it as long as I live.
Then I skyped my bff Lauren to talk about our upcoming trip to Barbados and figure out logisitics. We ended up talking about 'boys'... typical. And then it finally hit me... I need to do something rather soon. Everyone has been telling me, but it's finally hit me. It IS time to make some adjustments and 'cuts' in my life. I've spent my entire 24th year being conflicted about a certain someone and it is EFFING timeee... more updates to come. It's going to be hard to 'cut', but I need to start living my life again and in many ways I have been holding out and putting my life on hold and consuming my thoughts in regards to a certain individual.
And food relates to this because if I'm happy, I eat and if I'm sad... I eat more. Ohhh and at the wedding, I ate a ton. Not good. I'm still not at that stage where eating well is a natural instinct. If I'm in day-to-day stuff, yes I'll eat well. If it's a celebration like I wedding, I divulge b/c it's a celebration and such. Not okay... tomorrow... back to the grind.
I'm just tired of messing up and restarting... it's ugh.
oHHH... and a special shoutout to my friend, Kate B... who looks fabulous! She's now in single digits in a size she's NEVER been before. You go, girl! So proud of you!
Phew! That was one crazy@$$ post... hope you didn't get too lost! haha